30 August 2006

Stream of Consciousness and Metaconsciousness

…Howler monkeys at dawn. Tree frog living in the bathroom. Mano de piedra coiled up at the base of tree. Clear volcano view. Goat frolicking with dog. Sun, sun, SUN!!! Hooking a few guapote at the neighbor’s lake. Playing at Wilder’s new school. Blue morpho butterfly fluttering through the outdoor rancho. Wilder self-fulfilling his prophecy. Cats curled on the bed. Lizard eggs buried in the sand. Rain on a hot tin roof. Dragonflies surfing the wind. Building new friendships. Howler monkeys at sunset. Feeling truly at home…

One thing I’ve been learning more deeply lately is that every moment matters. Every sinewy, resistant, breath-filled minute that comprises my life, your life, my dreams, your dreams, someone else’s hopes, another’s fears…none can be predicted, disowned, replaced. They are. You are. We are. There are words, concepts, and diseases that are realities to those I love, you love, we love…and I ponder and pale in comparison to the universal life force that governs the growth and restriction of such healing powers as compassion and prayer (and chocolate). How can we feel, how can we grow, how can we govern or accept the elements that will affect our lives with or without our desire? By living in every moment. Fully. Alive. With great breaths. A receptive gaze. Sure strides. And an open heart. …Amen. Awomen.

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